Touch Deprivation

The other day I was reading at the Café and was going through the same page of the book probably for the third time. Maybe the language was too difficult or maybe my heart was not at it. I was aware of a mild headache. That was a kind of headache when you feel some weight on your head. I caressed that part of my head with my hands.
On my left a man explaining a business plan to another. Repeating again and again that poor people remain poor because they do not change their ways. I tried to avoid his irritating talk, but he was loud. On the other side of the glass wall that is on the open terrace of the café, I saw this rich looking couple. They were well dressed with undeniably attractive bodies. Their bodies have the presence of the kind Walt Whitman talks about in his poetry.
While the lemon slices were floating in their colorful drinks, the woman was stroking his hair and face like he is her child. I started observing other people around to see how many are touching each other. The touch I thought has whole philosophy to it. Perhaps those around me not touching each other might be touching each other through words or unable to do so. After all, one can be very specific about who they allow to touch and where. Touching could be a way of understanding each other. It is how we transfer healing warmth from the one body to the another.
I was looking at that couple again. I was thinking that these two must be enjoying closeness to each other. How healing it must be for him to feel her breast, her hair and her face so close to him. Edward Munch would not have created his ‘Madonna’ without experiencing such closeness. I reached to a conclusion that my headache might be out of a deprivation, especially the touch deprivation. I liked the precise term I coined for my sickness. I can borrow money to have coffee here but I cannot borrow a touch.                  
This is where my failure lies?
I carried on with my reading.

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9 thoughts on “Touch Deprivation

  1. Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? Although it is a theory popularized by a religious writer and I don’t subscribe to the religious part, his description of the ways that people communicate can be divided into 5 different “language” or communication styles. These are: Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Acts of Service.

    Chapman suggests, and many people have agreed, that people show love but also receive love and affirmation primarily through one of these means. If you are a person who communicates through touch then yes, you can indeed be touch deprived. I am a touch person and I hope to do a post on the power of touch. I usually call it being touch-starved but it is the same idea…. Check out the idea of the 5 love languages and let me know what you think!

    Liked by 1 person

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